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                Brian W.  
Drums, percussion and anything else that deserves to be hit with a stick.

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                 Jay L.                       Keyboards, Chalkboards, Washboards

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                        Dave B.                               Chilean Sea Bass Guitar , Drill Press
 

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                   John H. 
    This guitar, that guitar, the other
             guitar and Vocals.

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                  Gary S.        
       Lead Vocals, Lead Paint

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                   Mark S.
    Guitar, Vocals, VP Human Resources

Brian W. -Drums, percussion, and anything else that deserves to be hit with a stick.

After an illustrious career testing crash helmets, Brian is now the sole proprietor of “Inside-Out”, a modest central-Jersey new-age boutique specializing in incense, soy candles, and unclaimed donor-organs. Boasting the east-coast’s largest collection of vintage argyle cardigans, Brian is both a member of the Gandhi Society for Peace, Love and Understanding, and the NRA. He hopes to one day, settle down with that certain, special octogenarian heiress of his dreams.

Dave B. -Chilean Sea Bass Guitar, Drill Press

A graduate of the prestigious Don Knotts Military Academy, Dave emerged as a born leader. Alas, no one will follow him. Dave is a vocal advocate of veganism, making small exceptions for veal, bacon, leather, and fur. After an unfortunate incident involving a toaster, Dave has become an avid follower of Verubanu, the dark god of household appliances and kitchen utensils. His claims to have invented the spork remain unsubstantiated.

Gary S. -Lead Vocals, Lead Paint

A disdain for making left turns, combined with a passion for paying property taxes has made New Jersey the ideal location for Gary to settle down. A humanitarian, Gary spent 12 years in the Australian Outback teaching Aboriginal children the art of ballet and tap. Presently a member of The Otis Sistrunk Foundation, an exclusive think-tank dedicated to eradicating global toenail fungus. Gary spends much of his free time on social media correcting other people’s spelling and grammar errors. 

Jay L. -Keyboards, Chalkboards, Washboards

Author of the New York Times bestseller How to Disguise Your Alcoholism as a Craft Beer Hobby …  Jay lives alone in a rented one-bedroom trailer with his thirty-seven cats, Netflix subscription, and life-sized Kate Beckinsale Love Doll. Presently working part-time for a Russian social-media news outlet, his favorite pastimes are long walks on the beach, needlepoint, and listening to Rachmaninoff over the pleas of last year’s trick-or-treaters begging to be set free.

John H. - This guitar, that guitar, the other guitar, and Vocals 

Holding the New Jersey record for most acquittals without a conviction, John has dedicated his life to “paying it forward”, magnanimously rescuing mail-order Vietnamese teens who he presently employs as housekeepers, bartenders and personal masseuses. A renaissance man, John enjoys fine wine, transcendental meditation, and disciplining ants with a magnifying glass. His hobbies include arc-welding, collecting Tor Johnson memorabilia, and coughing in the face of anti-vaxxers.

Mark S. - Guitar, Vocals, VP Human Resources 

Identified as a musical prodigy from an early age, Mark was best described by his academy professor as “A young Mozart, had Mozart been denied oxygen in the womb.” A former U.S. ambassador to Kyrgyzstan, Mark is best known for having co-produced “Heartbeat”, a death-metal rock-opera based on the lives of Tony DeFranco and the DeFranco Family. Inventor of asparagus-flavored chewing gum, he has since made a fortune investing in foreclosed orphanages, and generic breakfast cereal. 

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